Fifty Shades Darker (18)

Fifty Shades Darker

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Thursday 30 Mar 201719:30 Book Now (Sold Out)

The title of the second instalment in the frustratingly gargantuan series is a bit of a misnomer. Where's the darkness? It's still about as racy as a shampoo advert.

Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) is adamant that she’ll have nothing to do with Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) after her experiences in the first film. When he sends her flowers, she throws them straight in the bin. However, after running into him at a photographers’ gallery, where all the pictures are of her, she shows remarkably little resistance when he asks her out. “Okay, I will have dinner with you because I am hungry,” is how she justifies her immediate capitulation. Soon, they are back together, but this time on her terms.  

The ‘Darker’ in the title isn’t referring to any increase in explicitness; it's all coated in a syrupy romance that is very careful not to offend or titillate too much. No sweating or grunting here, just slow scenes of hanky-panky accompanied by gentle, soft rock. The very definition of safe sex. (Jack Whiting) Go on Mr Darker Grey (the colour of my carpet) grease them pecs and get on with it.